Movie Waffle | Slender Man (2018) - My Boy Slendy Needs a New Agent


Slender Man (2018) directed by Sylvain White -


Imagine still talking about Slender Man in 2022. It’s like unearthing a fossil from the long long past of… a decade ago. Seems like more though, doesn’t it? Yet it’s enough to bring back those wistful memories of early creepypastas, non-trash horror Let’s Plays, and old media pearl-clutching. Those were the days.


“Yes Mom, I know what Slender Man is. No Mom, I don’t plan on performing a ritual sacrifice.”


You know, I take personal umbrage whenever something from my childhood is formatted into a bread sandwich. Much like video game-to-movie adaptations, newer forms of media never seem to translate well onto the screen. And let’s be honest by 2018 anyone this movie was aimed at already considered the Slender Man myth old hat. 


Anywho, Slender Man the movie follows the tale of four high schoolers that watch a few Marble Hornets videos and go insane. We are treated to a few stock “run-away-from-baddie” and “aimless-wandering-in-the-woods-at-night” set pieces during which the movie desperately insists that horror is in process of happening. Then BANG! Credits roll after not really having shown anything of substance. Lame!

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