Movie Waffle | Texas Chainsaw 3D (2013) - Let's Bring a Chainsaw to a Gunfight


Texas Chainsaw 3D (2013) directed by John Luessenhop - 


I imagine if you had a horror movie bingo card, this movie would be the free space. The plot follows a group of quite astoundingly terrible twentysomethings as they are chased by generic killer maniac sporting legendary cardio ability no. 23. The black guy doesn't die first though, so I have to give kudos for deviating from the cliche in that regard.


The movie itself opens about 5 minutes after the conclusion of the first film in the franchise; it's doing the Halloween thing of just ignoring all the sequels that came after the first. After some "acting" introducing characters who most certainly were not part of the first movie, a shootout breaks out. This is because, as I'm sure most people can glean from the title, lengthy shootouts are what made the Texas Chainsaw Massacre famous. The rest is a basket full of the usual: hackneyed stupidity and hackneyed strip scenes with hackneyed daddy issues and hackneyed baddies. Also I'm pretty sure the main character has amnesia.


I'm not sure if this is coming across but I really didn't enjoy Texas Chainsaw 3D all that much. It wasn't good good, and it wasn't so bad it's good. In the end I was most impressed by how well the protagonist's makeup had held up through the whole affair. That's something I suppose.

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